Radije vjerujem I Would Rather Believe

Pomirio sam se s time da uistinu ne prihvaćam intrinzičnu vrijednost Istine, koliko god to možda želio. Shvatio sam da ono što sam nekoć doživljavao kao intrinzično zapravo ovisi o vjerovanju, uključujući i vjerovanje u intrinzičnu vrijednost same istine. Stoga je utemeljeno u sustavu vjerovanja unutar kojega doživljavam smisao i radost, a ne u nečemu što bi samo sebe opravdavalo. Drugim riječima, kad bi moja vjerovanja bila pogrešna, ne vidim nikakvu intrinzičnu vrijednost u tome da znam da su pogrešna. U tom bih slučaju radije procijenio korisnost prihvaćanja svake pojedine informacije u svoju percepciju stvarnosti i zaključio da bih i dalje radije vjerovao u metafizički supstrat svijeta, čak i kad mu u stvarnosti ništa ne bi odgovaralo. Je li moje vjerovanje istinito ili nije stoga mi nije prva briga, premda to nije lako prihvatiti.

Radije vjerujem u Božanstvo nego da ne vjerujem, bez obzira na to kakva stvarnost u konačnici jest. Ako Božanstva nema, onda za mene nema osobite vrline u tome da to znam. Znati da je sve igra, predstava, i ipak u njoj sudjelovati posve, kao da je stvarna, radi radosti i uzbuđenja, čini mi se vrhuncem svjesnog iskustva.

I have come to terms with the fact that I do not truly accept the intrinsic value of Truth, even though I may wish that I did. I have realized that what I once perceived as intrinsic is actually dependent on belief, including the belief in the intrinsic value of truth itself. It is therefore grounded in the belief system within which I experience meaning and joy, rather than in anything inherently self-justifying. In other words, if my beliefs were incorrect, I see no intrinsic value in knowing that they are incorrect. In such a case, I would rather evaluate the utility of accepting each piece of information into my perception of reality and conclude that I would still prefer belief in a metaphysical substrate of the world, even if nothing in reality corresponded to that idea. Whether my belief is true or not is therefore not my primary concern, although accepting this is not easy.

I prefer believing in Divinity rather than not believing, regardless of what reality ultimately is. If there is no Divinity, then for me there is no particular virtue in knowing that this is so. To know that everything is a play, a show, and yet to fully participate as though it were real for the sake of joy and excitement, seems to me the peak of conscious experience.